Friday, May 09, 2008

Aflutter

The gallows, the quotable Samuel Johnson once opined, have a unique way of focusing the mind. Ever notice how the signs real estate agents hang outside properties for sale are like little gallows?

I've not had occasion to note this similarity before. And my mind is anything but focused. Instead, I find it fluttering about like a moth around a flame. Sometimes it constructs elaborate scenarios of non-sale: perfect storms of real estate market dysfunction involving (why not?) unscrupulous bidders, unverifiable title, endless haggling, denied credit and collapsing prices ... ending in abject apology from the landlady for the trouble she has caused us tenants (in some versions taking the form of offering us the house for a pittance). At other times it remembers my thinking "people like me don't live in places like this" from the start, and considers how lucky I am, imposter, to have gone undetected for even this long: I'll savor every minute in the garden as if it's my last chance ever to have one (which it might indeed be). At still others, I find myself huffing that this isn't really a neighborhood I'd want stay in long-term anyway - not enough restaurants, no street life. I guess this way I'm prepared come what may!