Not at ease in my skin

I like everything about commuting by subway (besides delays!) except getting off the 2/3 at Grand Army Plaza in the late afternoon or evening. I'm part of a great wave of people getting off there, most heading south to Park Slope, the rest north to Prospect Heights. Not everyone who gets off is white, but hardly a white person remains in the subway cars we leave behind. I feel unhappy being part of this flood, jumping ship all together for our gentrified yet hip fantasy Brooklyns and - in the case of us recent arrivals in Prospect Heights - eroding historically African American neighborhoods in the process. Not quite sure how to say this, or why I'm saying it (a rueful usurper is still a usurper), but it's something I can't get used to. It troubles me every time.