The world religions MOOCs experiment seems to be working, filling our "Theorizing Religion" room with lots of fresh, specific knowledge about religious traditions in their complexity and diversity. But what about the theory part? To make room for the MOOCs, I've folded what would have been two weeks of reading early classic texts into two "lecturettes," where a mini-lecture from me and a single excerpt from each text distributed in class is supposed to make do as we glance at Hume's Natural History of Religion (1757), Schleiermacher's Speeches on Religion (1799) and Feuerbach's Essence of Christianity (1841) over two Wednesday classes interleaved with the students' MOOC reports. Did today's Hume-in-an-hour-plus-a-first-taste-of-Schleiermacher work? It might have, and might do so even better next time round. I left out a lot of what I usually try to cover, but will need to trim even more, I fear. In exchange, we get the clarity which caricature forces.